World Population: Just under 1,000 and climbing (Part 2)

I have to admit, when I published World Population: Just under 1,000 and climbing (Part 1), I did not expect much. Little I knew that my post was going to be read by people from Canada, United States, Germany, Denmark, India, Sweden, Spain, Hong Kong, Sri Lanka, Netherlands, Philippines, Namibia and Ukraine. Wow, what an honour.

Many of the same readers wanted to know why I chose this title. As I promised in my previous entry, it will all make sense at the end.

“Security Cameras” (couple of weeks ago)

This must have been my lucky day… I found a parking spot in the busy lot of my gym. Bag on my shoulder and still dressed in my work clothes with a name tag hanging off the side of my pants and my BlackBerry humming away on my belt, I began walking towards the main entrance of the gym when I noticed a young woman with designer glasses walking towards me.

Now, as my wife would tell you, I approach most situations cautiously. It’s been a personal trait that has helped me with making better judgement calls.

Back to the story… the young woman tried getting my attention but I pretended that I neither saw nor heard her. I tried to figure out who she may be: Was she a former colleague or a long-lost cousin of my wife? Was she someone that I have graduated with or was she trying to sell me something? Nope, I couldn’t locate her in my drained brain! Immediate conclusion: She can’t be trusted and I have to watch my back.

In the meantime, from the corner of my eyes I tried to locate the security cameras in the parking lot and watch those that are around me.

The lady got closer to me… darn it, I could no longer ignore her as she was now standing right in front of me. I could pull the “I don’t speak English” trick but that wouldn’t go too well given that my work badge screams the department that I work for. Surly, no one would hire an “HR” professional if he or she doesn’t speak English good (just kidding!).

I decided to hear her out, so I said: Yeeesss? (it was a stretched yes!)

She asked: “I’m sorry but are you going to the gym?”

I was a little confused… I’m in the gym parking lot, with a gym bag on my shoulder… walking towards the gym entrance. For a moment, I thought I’ll give her a smart-ass comment but then I thought better of it. I simply answered: Yes!

Her right hand quickly stretched out and tried to hand me something. All my senses began to work overdrive… my brain said don’t touch anything… back away… count the number of witnesses… oh no, tunnel vision… can’t focus on anything else except the outreached hand.

All I heard at that point was, “someone must have dropped this in the parking lot; since you’re going in, could you please give this to the lost and found?”

I took a deep breath! Looked down and it was a “wet” and polka-dotted yellow swimsuit.

Sheepishly, I agreed and did as I was asked.

Thank you for reading,

Armin

PS. It’s amazing how “In God, We Trust” but not so much in “God’s” creatures!

PPS. This is not the same swimsuite... just one that is yellow with white polka-dots. :)

Picture: Courtesy of "I don't know... found it on Google Images"; I'm sorry!

World Population: Just under 1,000 and climbing (Part 1)

So this blog entry is the first part of many that will follow periodically. It will all make sense once I’m done, I promise. But here’s a story to kick things off.

My wife and I lived in a beautiful waterfront building in downtown Vancouver. One late afternoon, I got off the bus about a block and half away from our building and was about to cross the street when a group of teenagers caught my attention.

They were loud and dressed in puffy jackets, loose jeans, brand name runners that were pricier than my whole outfit and wore “fake” diamond stud earrings that were brighter than the sun. They were wearing their baseball caps sideways and smoking cigarettes.

There were warning alarms going off everywhere in my head telling me to avoid eye contact, even though they were across the street and about 400 feet away. Suddenly, I felt a chill down my spine. I knew this was going to be trouble.

My brain was telling me to stay calm: Breath deeply and don’t show fear.

After about a minute or two, the cross walk light changed and it was time for me to cross the street and walk towards the teens. In the last second I changed my mind and decided to walk in the opposite direction.

That’s when I heard the laughter, which was followed by the sound of rapid footsteps getting closer and closer. My heart started to pound and I broke into sweat. Every martial arts move that I learned in my Jujitsu and self-defense classes ran through my head.

I went through the self-check process: I had my cell-phone at hand and was ready to dial 911; I had my backpack to defend against knives and other “concealable” weapons; I had my voice to scream for help if needed. But most importantly, I had to stop sweating and lower my blood pressure since my body was freezing with every passing second.

I looked back quickly to see how much ground those teens had gained on me. Oh no, there they were: Shaved heads covered by their fashionably placed sideway caps, pimply faces, and wobbly runs since their pants could barely stay on their hips. I was ready to throw the first punch (or so I thought I was ready) when one of them jumped on my back and gave me a big bear hug. Out of breath, I looked over my shoulder and there was my brother, on my back, and his childhood friends lining up behind him and anxiously waiting to say hi to me.

What a relief; I was going to live to see another day after all! Since then, I have promised not to judge others by what they wear.

Thanks for reading,

Armin

PS. This is a story from a decade ago, when my brother was in his late teens. Since then, his choice of clothing has changed from “sloppy and expensive” to “classy and moderately priced / expensive”.

PPS. For the record, my brother has always been one of the nicest, well mannered and kindest human beings to ever walk the surface of this earth. He couldn’t hurt a fly if he wanted to… but he sure knows how to break his girlfriends’ hearts.



Me and my good looking brother on the left!



“I'm late…

… I'm late! For a very important date! No time to say "Hello." Goodbye! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!” That’s what the White Rabbit said to Alice when they met for the very first time in Walt Disney’s version of Alice in Wonderland.

I could feel my blood boiling… the vein on my neck started to pulse harder. My breathing got heavier. I was holding the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles lost colour. I was pressing hard on the brake and only releasing it occasionally to inch forward. And then the news hit the radio: A five-car accident (pile-up they called it) on Alex Fraser Bridge! Stupid Drivers!!!

Argh! That explains why I have been sitting in traffic for nearly an hour without a chance of making a “legal and safe” U-turn!

I started to get mad at everything and anything that moved around me, including those crows that ever-so-freely flew overhead. How dare they? Can’t they see that I’m sitting in traffic, unable to fly like them? Are they teasing me? I totally could see it: a bunch of birds sitting on the hydro wire pointing down and laughing at me.

And suddenly, there it was; the moment my fellow commuters and I were all waiting for: Traffic was moving forward, albeit, ever so slowly! Hooray! I will get to work today!

And then it hit me hard; I was so consumed by my own frustration and anger that at no point in time did I think about those poor drivers that were involved in the accident. I didn’t care if anyone was hurt or if there were children in the cars. I didn’t care whether any of them survived the accident and if any of them said their goodbyes to their families in the morning for one last time. All I could think about was how they “made” me be late for work.

So has my punctuality taken a front seat to humanity? Have I become so consumed by my own interest that all else around me has no importance? Would I want others to think of me as an “inconvenience” should I ever be involved in an accident?

Thanks for reading,

Armin

PS. I was only 4 minutes late for work this morning!