Unconditional Trust

When was the last time you really trusted someone? I mean trusted them without any previous introduction! I mean you saw someone and you knew that you could, without any doubt, trust them with your life!

When was the last time you trusted someone unconditionally?

(To be honest with you, I don’t really know who came up with the phrase “Unconditional Trust”. I tried to conduct an online research to find the origin but wasn’t successful. Regardless, I thank the person that came up with it.)

For me, it was a little over 13 years ago and the result was the creation of amazing friendships, which resulted in me marrying the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and subsequently having two beautiful children (I’m knocking on wood, keeping my fingers crossed and praying to God as I type this… yup, I’m a little superstitious).

From Left to Right: Houman, Sashie, Me, Jitesh

Sometime in April 1998, two of my friends, Jitesh and Houman, and I were celebrating a personal milestone on

Robson Street

when we met couple of girls from Richmond, Wendy and Rav. We asked them to join in the celebration; after a brief hesitation they agreed.

From Left (Clockwise): Me, Tony, Wendy, Natalie, Chris, Rav, Isabella (our daughter), Karm (my lovely wife)

Less than couple of weeks later, in May 1998, I met the woman of my dreams, who happened to be a friend of my new “girl friends”; she was the most beautiful, astonishing and strong-headed individual I had (have) ever met.

14 months later, on July 10, 1999, I married her and never looked back.

Now imagine if Wendy and Rav did not accept our invitation that very first time we met? What if they would’ve just taken off instead of demonstrating an absolute and unconditional trust in three twenty-something guys that were “cruising” Robson Street? What if we wouldn’t have continued on with that newly formed friendship? What if my wife did not trust her friends’ judgment? What if my wife wouldn’t have accepted their invitation to join us at Second Beach on that warm May evening?

I don’t imagine my friends and I would be where we are today without demonstrating “unconditional trust” that very first time we met.

Brief diversion from the story:

So what is unconditional trust? In their academic article, The Experience & Evolution of Trust; Implications for Cooperation & Teamwork, Gareth R. Jones & Jennifer M. George define it this way: “Unconditional trust . . . characterizes an experience of trust that starts when individuals abandon the "pretense" of suspending belief, because shared values now structure the social situation and become the primary vehicle through which those individuals experience trust. With unconditional trust each party's trustworthiness is now assured, based on confidence in the other's values that is backed up by empirical evidence derived from repeated behavioral interactions—knowledge of which is contained in each individual's attitude toward the other . . . when unconditional trust is present, relationships become significant and often involve a sense of mutual identification . . .”

To personalize it, here’s how I would define Unconditional Trust: It’s when an individuals abandons his or her fears and prejudices, and wholeheartedly believes in the goodness of others.

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To my lovely wife, I’d like thank you for your

unconditional trust since May 1^, 1998. Thank you for putting up with me since then; I hope you’re looking forward to another 53 plus years of marriage.

To my dear friends and readers, thank you for reading and may your life be full of “unconditional trust”!  

Armin

PS. Wendy ended up marrying one of my best friends Tony (see 2nd group photo above)!

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