Balancing Act!

I had the pleasure of attending British Columbia Human Resources Association (BCHRMA) Surrey Roundtable this morning. Before you yell “boring”, let me say this: This session was anything but boring. Lisa Martin, a leadership coach, author (Briefcase Moms – go ahead and use the Amazon.com search box on the right) and facilitator presented on Escape the Balancing Act: Harmonize Your Career & Life for Maximum Return on Effort.

This session started with a quick Career-Life Harmony Assessment, which was an enlightening exercise in identifying where I need “to make some changes to reach my optimal career-life harmony”. But most importantly, here’s what I learned from this session and wanted to share it with you (please note that these are my own interpretations from the roundtable discussions and do not reflect that of the presenter or other participants):

• A universal work-life balance doesn’t really exist; in other words, we can force people to do something that they are not ready for or want to do. Rather, work-life balance is an individual approach. However, we, as a community, need to promote and encourage such harmony. We have to remember, a larger square block won’t fit into a smaller circle hole easily. It can be forced in but we will most likely break a few corners in the process.
• “Possibilities are endless” if one believes in the power of self and the community. In other words, “we are what we think” just as “we are what we eat”. Having a strong positive belief process that is supported by a strong foundation is the key to success.
• Personal Boundaries: I found this topic of interest as it’s an area where I need to further develop myself. I have a tendency of not sharing my personal boundaries as quickly as I should, which can lead to misunderstandings. We need to remember that boundaries are “invisible” to others. When communicating personal boundaries, Lisa says, it is important to be in an “emotionally even” state (physically, mentally and emotionally) and that one must be clear in “telling how he or she wishes / wants to be managed”.
• Guilt: This was also another relevant topic as I can be overwhelmed by guilt if I’m not careful. Lisa says that “wider the expectation equals bigger the guilt”. By “lowering expectations” of oneself, guilt may have a lesser impact on the person’s psyche. Please let me personalize this: I would feel guilty if I don’t make it to work at a pre-determined / self-mandated time, if I don’t answer an email on time, if I miss my daughter’s soccer practice, if I don’t tuck my son in at night, if I don’t get to watch the soccer highlights at 10:00 PM every night, if I don’t keep a promise, if I don’t make it to the gym, if I don’t talk to my parents or siblings, and on it goes. As you can imagine, this can be very hard on my wife, who in turn has to listen to my “guilt trips”.  Well, since this morning, I have come to realize that there are only so many hours in a day and that every minute of the day is precious and that it must be used wisely.

So, you must be thinking why I’m telling you this. Well, it’s part of my personal pledge: Going forward, I will do my best to think positively and feed my brain just as I feed my body; I will share and communicate personal boundaries so there won’t be any misunderstandings; and most importantly, I will try to let go of the daily guilty feelings by setting realistic goals, both personal and professional.

That my friends and dear readers, I hope will make me a better person.

Thanks for reading,

Armin

PS. I highly encourage you to find some time to attend one of Lisa Martin’s presentations, buy and read her book or visit her website. She has an amazing way of helping you reach a new level of personal understanding. For that, I thank her!