I received the text at 1:38 PM on Friday. It read: “Isabella just told me that she didn’t get invited to a classmate’s birthday because she is not peach!!”
My immediate reply back to my wife’s text was: “Hmmm, let me think about this one. Luv U.” Well, that’s what I wrote. In the meantime, I couldn’t believe what I was reading. Was I misreading the text? Could someone have actually said that to Isabella? Had Isabella misunderstood the conversation?
As I was trying to make sense of this, I asked the local library to put bunch of books on hold so at least I can tackle this issue intellectually. I’ve seen way too many kids being discriminated against based on their race, gender, and sexual preferences, religious and political beliefs, who subsequently were depressed. I had two friends in high school that attempted suicide because they were “Goth” and others couldn’t stop picking on them. I will never allow my child to go down that road.
That night, my wife and I decided to go to a local Japanese restaurant for dinner. As we settled around the table, I asked my daughter about what I heard and here’s what she said: “Well, my friend (name omitted) really wants to be friends with me and invite me over to her birthday party at her house but she says that her mother doesn’t like brown people so I am not invited”.
I nearly fell off my chair!
I asked Isabella how she felt about that and she said: “I don’t understand, I’m not even brown”. Yup, she’s right… but my lovely wife, who happens to be her beautiful mother, is! What is going on? These kids are 5 years old and shouldn’t even see colour never mind discriminating against one-another! I thought we’re moving forward with this whole “global village” ideology! Why does it feel like we keep taking the not-so-right path?
And it suddenly hit me: I should feel bad for that kid and her family as they’re going to have a very tough time in this world of ours as borders become blurry with the advancement of technology that has given us social networking sites and mobile communication tools. They are the ones who are going to live sheltered and “bland” lives. How sorry I feel for that family that refuses to embrace the beauty of colour that our world offers.
Thank you for reading,
Armin
PS. As I was dealing with this issue, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about Gene Roddenberry’s Star Trek episode called Let That Be Your Last Battlefield. If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend watching it. By far, this is one of my best beloved and most memorable Star Trek episodes.
PPS. I also feel sad for the kid as she’ll grow up and never taste Butter Chicken, Rotti, Dal, Sabji, and other wonderful Indian cuisines… how sad! Let’s hope she’ll grow up to be different.
Hi Armin jan,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to read this. Ignorance has no age and gender. I think you should take this to the school principal and let them at least know about the comments are being made in the school.
Hi Armin Jan, I am 100% agree with the above comment. You should definitly not stop here and let the parents of this child know that you will not tolerate such a comment and will take a appropriate action.
ReplyDeleteLove
Hamid
Hi Armin, that is a sad story. The parents will not admit they have said so and our school system will do nothing. As your girl grows up she will have a lot of friends no matter what their skin colors are...
ReplyDeleteUnbelievable. The last paragraph rings so much truth - to shut out human beings based on the color of their skin essentially means these people are heading for a very lonely lonely existence.
ReplyDeleteShame on them.
This is highly regretful a very disappointing. I especially despise the fact that your daughter had to be subjected to this.
ReplyDeleteVery sorry your family had to go through this. The only thing we can do is to ensure our families do not promote nor support such ignorance.
Most importantly, give your child a big hug and let her know that she is perfect just the way she is.
Joe
hey Armin,
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing your daughter's story. it hits home coming from first generation immigrant canadians. it is unfortunate that racism still exists today. i myself to some degree would confront the parents, letting them know that their comments have come back to you through isabella.
ignorance and fear should be confronted head on - that is my belief. respond with positivity and never let them get away with their ingorant comments. Gonna check out the star trek re-run.
laban!
Renante
Ignorant people are going to continue in ignorance unless they have some amazing life-altering event. You confronting them likely isn't that event. Not that we should ignore it or back away from confrontation when it is appropriate, but I agree that the strongest "fight" you can give is to educate your children and teach them how to respond to ignorance and discrimination. Isabella is a bright girl and I think that with the right dialogue she will come up with an appropriate response to her friend should something similar happen. I pity that poor girl as her mother is setting her up for a life that is restrictive.
ReplyDeleteI worry about discrimination for Lily, not for her skin colour, but for the fact that she wears hearing aids. And the only thing I can do is to help her to be a strong and confident woman who believes in herself and finds value in who she is and not in how others perceive her. I know that you will do the same with both your precious babies.
To all those that have posted their comments, called and texted: A BIG thank you!!!
ReplyDeleteIn addition to the above, I received many personal messages via LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter, and I thought it would be a great idea to share them with you anonymously. So here they are:
"Great article, very true… hope it goes smoothly with your daughter!”
“Thank you so much for sharing your blog. I took a peek last night and I really liked how you touch on so many important and relevant topics. My heart broke at your recent post on "peach" issues. I was absolutely appalled by the experience your daughter had and think it is so wonderful that she has such enlightened and supportive parents to help guide her. It was ironic because I read it after a dinner I was at where we were discussing how racism is still so prevalent in society and how awful it is. I actually have a rule where I will kick people out of my house for racist disparaging comments - I want my house to be a place free of racism and exclusiveness. All the best!”
“:o(“
“Good blog entry, Armin. I hope that little girl continues to grow up & embrace different people, and not be impacted by her mom's narrow-mindedness. In my opinion, life is pretty bland in one "colour".”
“I don't get it why would you even care!!! wat kind of idiot would think like that kids are angels! ahan by the way pls tell her these people paying so much money and even risk their health to get darker and be brown hon ;)”
“very well written and expressed”
“They're missing out on butter chicken...their loss”
“Tell Isabella she is invited to [omitted] birthday next year. That is so disappointing that a mother would say.... They sure are missing out on the the yummy butter chicken. I guess more for me and [omitted]…”