Are You Ready For The Three-Letter-Word Conversation?

I am a self-described open-minded person. I spent my early teen years in a country that one of its most important national icons was a cross-dressing singer: Zeki Muren… beautiful voice and a beautiful person (YouTube her name if you get a chance… you won’t be disappointed).

Upon arrival in Canada, we settled in the Westend, where it is internationally known as the gay and lesbian capital of British Columbia.

So it’s fair to say that I have been exposed to different lifestyles and hard to believe that I could ever feel uncomfortable about anything… until tonight!

Tonight, our daughter’s school had put together a seminar, which was “intended to provide parents with guidelines around what to teach their children and when”. The organization, Saleema Noon Sexual Health Educators, was going to talk to my baby girl about sexual health??? I don’t know why, but I was nervous and unsure. Although we have been trying to be as “open” as possible when it comes to talking about the topic of sexual health, I have to admit that it’s not an easy topic to participate in when children are involved.

Long story short, I am so glad that I attended the presentation because it reinforced what I had been saying all along: Best medication is prevention (fine, I have simply said what many others have said before me). I learned that my daughter’s class will learn (and I’m quoting here):

·         That they have ownership of their bodies

·         Scientific words related to sexual health

·         That reproduction usually happens when a man’s sperm joins a woman’s ovum by sexual intercourse, but that there are many different ways that families are formed. All families are unique.

·         That the baby grows in the uterus (not the stomach)

·         That the baby is usually born through the vagina

·         Not to pick up condoms or needles

What are listed above are hard topics of conversation but necessary ones… I am just glad that a real doctor will start the conversation and that my wife and I will have to simply follow the lead.

I don’t know about you but I wish I had a similar education when I was growing up... but that would’ve been unthinkable 30 years ago in a religiously driven and war-torn country of mine.

Thanks for reading,

Armin

PS. I think it was Sir Francis Bacon that said knowledge is power! Isn’t that the truth? Thank you Cambridge Elementary School and PAC for organizing tonight’s event.

As always, your comments are welcome! I hope you'll share your experiences with me.

First Brick

While sorting through some old stuff in the storage,
I came across a bunch of my old name-badges, which prompted the following question:

Looking back at years past, I began to wonder to whom I owe my professional progress.

Was it that little construction / development office in Istanbul, Turkey, that hired me as a “coffee boy”? I was working full-time (5 days per week) when I was about 13 years old and brought home about 4,000 Turkish Liras, which paid for our weekly household groceries… actually, I had a bit left over to treat my family to Lahmacun (famous Turkish pizza) every Friday and buy a little toy for my baby brother from a neighbouring pharmacy that displayed all sorts of shiny toys behind the shop window. Back in 1985, 4,000 Liras went a long way as if I remember correctly Ekmek (Turkish sourdough bread) was about 250 Liras.

That job lasted for a year or two but I am ever so grateful for having the chance to experience it. I learned how hard it was to make money, the difference between the “Wants” and “Needs”, prioritizing expenses, the importance of family members helping each other, self-discipline, and most importantly humility!

Thanks for reading,

Armin

PS. Take a chance on and give a chance to a teenager… you might just be the one that sets the first brick on his or her path to success!

The Apple & The Lady!

Macy's on 34th Street

About 3 months ago, someone of my age told me that although I am very wise “I am trying too hard to find the answer to life, which will come to me upon my ‘death-bed’; so I should stop searching so hard”. I simply nodded!!!

I was fortunate enough to “check” another item off of my “to-do” list: A wonderful trip to New York with my beautiful wife (a.k.a. “tour guide”), my lovely daughter who’d been dreaming of skating at the Rockefeller Centre for almost a year thanks to all the books that she read and the TV shows that she watched, and my handsome little terror named Brayden!

I’m not going to bore you with the details of the trip; however, I feel obligated to let you know that New York is a beautiful city where dreams are built just as tall as the buildings, where people are as resilient and kind as those immigrants that came to the shores many years ago, and where the culture is as brilliant and vibrant as it’s city lights. When in New York, it’s hard not to feel as part of a bigger and better world.

New York: Thank you for not disappointing… you were everything I had dreamed of, and more!

Along the way of my journey, of course, I learned some new lessons:

1. “Don’t imagine the worse unless there’s a good reason to do so”: To be honest, I was absolutely terrified to travel with Brayden, who does not like to be “tied-down” as he is a “free-roaming” individual that sees everything in his path as a climbing challenge. Well, I was wrong as he was a real trooper throughout the trip, including the 5+ hours he spent on the plane and in the airports. Just like his sister, he ended up being a great traveller (I’m touching wood as I don’t want to jinx it).
2. “Encourage children to live their dreams”: Watching Isabella and her mom on the ice at the Rockefeller Centre, under a giant Christmas tree, brought a certain unexplainable joy. Knowing that one of Isabella’s dreams had just come true was truly a magical moment. You won’t believe the number of people who told us that skating at the Rockefeller Centre was a childhood dream that was yet to be fulfilled. They had many excuses as to why they haven’t done it yet, but they couldn’t come up with one good reason why they should do it sooner than later, if at all.
3. “Dream the impossible”: Standing at Times Square, under giant digital billboards, I realized how large life can be so I’ll be taking some “baby” steps towards some big dreams; personal changes are coming and I’ll be sharing them with you along the way!
4. "It’s OK to get lost once in a while”: We lost our ways a couple of times, but our adventures took us to some amazing places including Harlem, which we would not have gone to otherwise. It’s funny how some of the most memorable moments in life are those that were not pre-planned, eh?
5. “Some things don’t have to be seen to be felt”: The attacks on New York took place four years before Isabella was born and yet she shed a tear for those that lost their lives at “Ground Zero” (Twin Towers). Isn’t it amazing how children can feel the pain solely based on those around them? I couldn’t have been prouder of my daughter for feeling that pain as I hope her generation will put an end to all types of violence (yes, I am dreaming of the impossible).
6. “Let kids plan some of the trip”: I had some of the best experiences when Isabella planned family events as they always end up being spontaneous and fun!!!  Isn’t that what vacations are all about?
7. “Realize and be thankful”: I thank God (Mother Earth; The Higher Power; Spirit; Humanity; Science; or whatever else you want to call it) every day for what I have as every dream met is another step towards being “complete”.

Thanks for reading and a very Happy 2012,

Armin

PS. To the person that gave me the advice three months ago: I have found the answer to life and it is to live life without regrets and to the fullest alongside of my family and friends. I am no longer searching for an answer, I am living it!

PPS. I’m neither an optimist nor a pessimist; going forward, I’m going to call myself a “Dreaming Realist” :)



The Apple
(view from our hotel room)



& The Lady
(I couldn't stop thinking about the Godfather movies)



Related blog: Where were you when...

To see more pictures, visit YouTube!

As I Get Older...

I am starting to notice a very interesting trend: As I get older, the size of my vitamin pills gets bigger. For example, my multivitamin pill is the size of two finger bands and just as thick… it reminds me of a horse tranquilizer. I guess my vitamin pill is going to get large enough that it can no longer be consumed orally?

It’s been an interesting couple of weeks… what did I learn?

• I learned that life passes by too quickly… my princess turned 6 years old. I’m having a hard time seeing her as a young girl, so I am going to continue to pretend that she’s only a year old until I can no longer lift her off the ground. Do you think she’ll be OK with that?
• I learned that no two people are the same, even though they are born into the same family, raised by same parents, eat the same food and sometime clothed the same… yes, it’s true: We’re still using some of Isabella’s old clothes on Brayden, however, we make sure he is not seen in public wearing “girlie” clothes. Jokes aside, the two children could not have been any more different. Isabella was an Angel, but Brayden has started off as a terror. How is that possible that two are so different?
• I learned that everyone has a dark side… it may be well hidden but it will come out at some point. I saw an ugly side of someone and it was scary, albeit only for a second or two.
• I learned that everyone wants to be cared for and no one likes to be neglected. This could be done by simply picking up the phone and calling someone. To R.C., although you and your family are always on my mind, I’m sorry for not checking up on you more regularly.
• I learned that life is way too precious to be ignored. I say this as one my friend’s mother is battling cancer once again. I would like to think that she’ll be just as successful in defeating this illness as the first time. Our thoughts and prayers are with her, my friend and her family. What did I learn from visiting her yesterday? One should not be any less of a gracious host regardless of the situation… This amazing woman sat with us around the dining room table and jumped in the conversation when her strength allowed her to and shared a smile when she could. I would like to thank her for her hospitality over the years and hope we can make many more memories together.
• I learned that we’re very lucky to be surrounded by loving friends. Both Isabella and Brayden were spoiled by their “aunts” and “uncles” this past weekend as we got together for another Christmas Gift Exchange party. I hope our children are as lucky as we are when it comes to finding the right friends to make and share memories with.
• I learned that we all need someone to share our lives with: a spouse, a partner, a child or a parent, a family member or a friend, a dog, a cat or a fish. But most importantly, we all need to love someone and feel loved. Thank you Karm for being the one for me.

Thank you for reading,

Armin

PS. As I get older, I don’t become wiser! As I get older, I realize how naive I had been!

Black Cumin



Black Cumin Plant (picture: courtesy of Google Image)

 It’s funny how senses play a trick on you or remind you of times long past.

For example, there’s a perfume that one of my high-school girlfriends use to wear (and I’m implying that I had more than one girlfriend during my senior years), which every once in a while I smell it on someone and suddenly I’m taken back to the time when I was 17.

Then there’s the smell of Sunlight dish-washing soap that reminds me of our first few days in Canada. I remember living in a “Vancouver-Special” apartment building (3-4 storey building that looks like a matchbox with absolutely no character; thankfully, they stopped building those in the 70s). I remember coming home one day from school and the apartment being filled with the aroma of Sunlight; ever since then, I associate the smell with the sweet smell of my new home.

And then there are those moments that you want to forget but never can, albeit it’s pushed to as far back in my head as possible. I remember our first meeting with our immigration officer in Vancouver in 1988, who was “helping” us with our settlement as landed immigrants. I remember this kind man asking me for my occupation. Given that I didn’t speak English, I simply stared at him with a blank look until I heard my dad tell him that I was a “student”.

Shortly after, my dad and the officer began to converse and I remember asking my dad what was said. “The officer mentioned that he was very happy that he had been assigned to our family and that he didn’t have to deal with the recently arrived Indians as very few of them spoke proper English and that, due to no fault of their own, they smelled… it must be something they eat”.

Many years later, I’m still troubled by those comments and every once in a while it sends shivers down my spine. This morning was one of those days. I was standing at the bus stop and a young man was standing in front me that had a sweet smell of Indian cooking and spices; and I was suddenly taken back in time, right down to the room where we met the immigration officer for the very first time.

Thanks for reading,
Armin

PS. I’m now blessed with the sweet smell of Indian spices, home-made roti, fresh sabji and other wonderful smells of South-East Asia, thanks to my extended family.

Related blogs: Racism is just "peachy"!

Sleeping Beauty... "What a Cutie!"

I thought the guilty feeling would go away after being a parent for a few years, but it seems to be getting worse.

Let me explain… for most of the past (nearly) 6 years, I’ve been reading a bedtime story for Isabella. The ritual has been: Prepare bedtime milk, either carry or chase my baby girl up the stairs to her bedroom, place her on the bed, turn on the lamp, read her a chapter of a book (or a whole book), give her a good night kiss and tell her “I Love Her”, turn off the lights, she asks me to hug her while she falls asleep and I do as I’m told, and then we both snore the night away until my wife, Karm, wakes me up.

Since this past Monday however, we’ve been following the same ritual until I turn off the lights. It is at this point that I gently pull away from Isabella (while she’s hanging onto my hand) and promise her that I’ll be in the next room taking care of my share of housework (laundry, tidying up, picking up after Brayden, doing dishes, etc). After about 15 minutes I walk back into the Isabella’s room only to find my little princess fast asleep. It’s here that I feel cheated and suddenly overcome with great sense of guilt. I just don’t think it’s fair that Isabella falls asleep without her dad.

We all start pulling away from family ever so slowly in the name of “growing up” and “independence”. It’s a different start for everyone… for me and Isabella it seems to have started with my baby princess falling sleep on her own. I just hope I can replace “independence” with “interdependence”… I think I can handle the latter better.

Thanks for reading,

Armin

PS. She promised me this morning that I can hold her hand and walk her to school until she is 20. When I told her that she’ll be in university by then, she said “that’s OK; you can drive me to school then!”



Incidentally, I'm reading her A.A. Milne's The Complete Tales of Winnie-the-Pooh



*** I borrowed the title of this blog entry from the "Sleeping Beauty Pantomime" that Isabella, Karm and I attended a couple of years ago!

Ice-cream Cures the “Blues”

I have failed to keep couple of my promises; one was not to complain and the other was not to pay too much attention to the news. Both are very hard habits to break. It’s kind of funny how I had an easier time with quitting cigarettes than I did with complaining and reading the papers.

Speaking of cigarettes, it’s hard to believe that it’s been nearly 10 months since I had the last smoke. Mind you, there’re times that I miss it dearly… but just like everything else, once it’s dead there’s no turning back.

So today, as I was riding the bus home, I just stared out the window and watched life pass by on the outside. Isn’t it funny how fast we can leave life behind when we’re not paying attention to our surroundings? Next time, pay attention to that pedestrian that walks by your car or bus while you’re sitting there behind a red light. Notice how she simply walks by you? Moments later, as you begin to drive away, try to locate her in your rear-view mirror. Do you see her? Now, try to pay attention to other drivers and passersby as you drive… notice how fast you’re passing them or vice-versa? Yup, each passing second is one that is irreplaceable so make sure you’re doing something with it… whatever that is.

Speaking of fast, Brayden is graduating from his half crawl and half roll (let’s call it CROWLL) and is beginning to terrorize us by hanging onto stuff while pulling himself up to his knees (his cute attempt at standing up). I don’t understand his mad fascination with his cuddly foot-ball (soccer ball), which is both cute and disturbing as he spends more time talking to his ball than with his parents. It kind of reminds me of Wilson in Tom Hanks’ Cast Away.

As for Isabella, she showed a serious sign of growing up the other day… you see, she’s been receiving a daily allowance of $1.00. Last Sunday, I had the “blues”. So instead of bugging my family (which I do anyways) I just stepped outside on the front porch and let the sun warm my face. About 10 minutes into my “self-treatment”, Isabella stepped out onto the porch, all dressed up, and took my hand and said “let’s go for a walk dad, I’m buying you ice-cream with my allowance”. Suddenly, Isabella was no longer a toddler; she was a young girl that saw her dad needing some cheering up and took action. Sun or no sun, my day was suddenly so much brighter.

Next time, I’ll buy you an ice-cream if you’re feeling “blue”.

Thanks for reading,

Armin

PS. Brayden and Karm joined us for the ice-cream and poor Isabella ended up spending $14.97 of her allowance on three super-scoop ice-creams in waffle cones. It’ll take her another 2 weeks to recuperate the money from us J

Thanks; No Thanks! (a poem)

Thanks for giving him life,

Thanks for pretending you were in his life.

Thanks for providing for him,

Thanks for not providing anything.

Thanks for the love and the hugs,

Thanks for being absent.

Thanks for your kindness,

        Thanks for the insults and hurtfulness.

Thanks for being a family and a friend,

Thanks for being a nobody.

Thanks for being there every step of the way,

Thanks for vanishing.

Thanks for the memories,

        Thanks for the nightmares.

Thanks for risking your life,

Thanks for your selfishness.

Thanks for being so forgiving,

Thanks for not giving anything.

Thanks for teaching him about life,

        Thanks for teaching him not to be you.

Thanks God for having you in his life,

        Thanks heavens for having a life without you.

Thanks for everything,

Thanks for nothing.

Thanks for reading; may you be surrounded by those that love you and empty of those that don’t.

Armin

1 Of Few…

I feel very privileged to be one of few… the best part: It was all for a great cause.

I was amongst one of approximately 80 individuals in the Metro Vancouver Area that had a chance to rappel down the side of a building, legally J, which was one of my life’s most memorable and exciting moments to date.

As I had mentioned in a previous blog, my daughter’s camping trip with her Sparks unit of Girl Guides of Canada prompted me to participate in Easter Seals’ Drop Zone event in Vancouver, British Columbia, on September 13, 2011, in support of BC’s Children with Disabilities.

Being up on the rooftop, on the 20^th floor, and looking down at my family waving back at me, made me second guess my sanity for a millisecond. Was I crazy enough to trust my life to a group of people that put me into a harness attached to couple of ropes, who asked me to hop over a 3.5 feet tall railing, only to lean back and have nothingness beneath me? I guess the answer was a yes!

In addition to saluting the many organizations involved with putting this fantastic and well-organized event together, I would like to thank each and every one of my 47 sponsors, who made my participation possible. Collectively, you donated $1645 to this great cause and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you and your generosity. You’ll be happy to know that our group of rappellers in Vancouver raised more than $195,000. Bravo!

As for next year, I will be throwing my support behind my wife, who has committed herself to participating in 2012 Drop Zone event J

Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy watching a short video chronicling day's event as it unfolded,

Armin

PS. I have developed a new level of respect for those organizations that rely on the generosity of donors. It’s not easy to ask for money. My fundraising relied solely on the generosity and kindness of the donors as I did not offer anything other than my sincere thanks. So thank you for being the real heroes!

Related Blogs:

• Camp Elkgrove
• Camp Elkgrove: Conclusion
• Bruised Ego & Bruised Ribs?
• Surrey's own "Zorro" zeroes in on bid to rappel building for charity

Where Were You When…

“Honey, wake up; a plane just crashed into one of the Twin Towers in New York!”

Throughout our lives, we come across moments that are forever engraved in our individual minds. We will either experience them first hand or hear about them through the media. But then there’re those moments that are so large and far-reaching that will be globally and collectively remembered.

“What kind of an idiot pilot would do that?” she asked in a sleepy voice, still not fully comprehending what I had said.

A short while ago, I celebrated my 39th birthday at a hidden-gem Greek restaurant called New York New York. Against the back wall of the restaurant, and well hidden from the main entrance, there’s a wall-to-wall picture of New York City skyline with Twin Towers well placed in the centre. This picture is approximately 12 feet in height and about 15 feet in length. But the image of the infamous towers appears to be larger than life.

“Honey, wake up… seriously, another plane just crashed into another one of the Towers!” I said this as I was standing in the kitchen, trying to make sense of the live images as it passed through our 21 inch Sears brand television set that was a wedding gift from my parents.

As we walked to our tables at the end of the restaurant, Isabella, our 5 year old daughter, could tell that I had a saddened look on my face while staring at the picture on the wall. She turned her gaze to the wall and asked what’s going on.

Suddenly, one of the towers collapsed and I felt an empty feeling. May be up until that very moment I was hoping for the best. After all, the towers seemed to be holding well. They had gobbled up the planes and survived it. But now, suddenly, all was lost. And moments later, the second tower collapsed and lives changed forever.

Ah, sweetheart! Some very bad people destroyed those buildings and many people died. I didn’t want to tell her that thousands of people died: Parents, Children, Siblings, Friends, Family Members and Colleagues. I didn’t want to tell her that she’ll never be able to see the Twin Towers in person; and if she does, it will most likely be in documentaries that will rehash those horrific images of people jumping out of the buildings to save their own lives, albeit knowing that there’s no chance of survival. I didn’t want to tell her that someone somewhere was so full of hate for mankind that was willing to kill en-mass.

Ten years later and I’m still in shock of what I witnessed in those two hours. I thought hatred stopped when Nazis and Fascists were stopped decades ago. I thought we had peace parades in the 60s and 70s. I thought we were better than killing each other because we don’t agree on something. I thought we were better than that!

Thanks for reading and let us not forget what hatred and evil is capable of, ever!!!

Armin

PS. I can’t wait for our trip to New York so I can pay my respect to those that lost their lives and those that carried on! “Start spreading the news / I am leaving today / I want to be a part of it / New York, New York” ~ Frank Sinatra’s lyrics to New York, New York.

Image courtesy of Google

Balancing Act!

I had the pleasure of attending British Columbia Human Resources Association (BCHRMA) Surrey Roundtable this morning. Before you yell “boring”, let me say this: This session was anything but boring. Lisa Martin, a leadership coach, author (Briefcase Moms – go ahead and use the Amazon.com search box on the right) and facilitator presented on Escape the Balancing Act: Harmonize Your Career & Life for Maximum Return on Effort.

This session started with a quick Career-Life Harmony Assessment, which was an enlightening exercise in identifying where I need “to make some changes to reach my optimal career-life harmony”. But most importantly, here’s what I learned from this session and wanted to share it with you (please note that these are my own interpretations from the roundtable discussions and do not reflect that of the presenter or other participants):

• A universal work-life balance doesn’t really exist; in other words, we can force people to do something that they are not ready for or want to do. Rather, work-life balance is an individual approach. However, we, as a community, need to promote and encourage such harmony. We have to remember, a larger square block won’t fit into a smaller circle hole easily. It can be forced in but we will most likely break a few corners in the process.
• “Possibilities are endless” if one believes in the power of self and the community. In other words, “we are what we think” just as “we are what we eat”. Having a strong positive belief process that is supported by a strong foundation is the key to success.
• Personal Boundaries: I found this topic of interest as it’s an area where I need to further develop myself. I have a tendency of not sharing my personal boundaries as quickly as I should, which can lead to misunderstandings. We need to remember that boundaries are “invisible” to others. When communicating personal boundaries, Lisa says, it is important to be in an “emotionally even” state (physically, mentally and emotionally) and that one must be clear in “telling how he or she wishes / wants to be managed”.
• Guilt: This was also another relevant topic as I can be overwhelmed by guilt if I’m not careful. Lisa says that “wider the expectation equals bigger the guilt”. By “lowering expectations” of oneself, guilt may have a lesser impact on the person’s psyche. Please let me personalize this: I would feel guilty if I don’t make it to work at a pre-determined / self-mandated time, if I don’t answer an email on time, if I miss my daughter’s soccer practice, if I don’t tuck my son in at night, if I don’t get to watch the soccer highlights at 10:00 PM every night, if I don’t keep a promise, if I don’t make it to the gym, if I don’t talk to my parents or siblings, and on it goes. As you can imagine, this can be very hard on my wife, who in turn has to listen to my “guilt trips”.  Well, since this morning, I have come to realize that there are only so many hours in a day and that every minute of the day is precious and that it must be used wisely.

So, you must be thinking why I’m telling you this. Well, it’s part of my personal pledge: Going forward, I will do my best to think positively and feed my brain just as I feed my body; I will share and communicate personal boundaries so there won’t be any misunderstandings; and most importantly, I will try to let go of the daily guilty feelings by setting realistic goals, both personal and professional.

That my friends and dear readers, I hope will make me a better person.

Thanks for reading,

Armin

PS. I highly encourage you to find some time to attend one of Lisa Martin’s presentations, buy and read her book or visit her website. She has an amazing way of helping you reach a new level of personal understanding. For that, I thank her!

Butterflies & Mosquitoes?

I wasn’t nervous… no sir! Not me!

Ok may be a bit, but more on that in a bit…

Today marked another great milestone for our family! First of all, our little Baboo (aka, Brayden) learned how to drop things and laugh at me simultaneously. I mean, he would look at me, look at his toy at hand, look at me again and ever so slowly release his fist until the toy would come crashing down to earth.  For some reason, the impact and my subsequent reaction to it was a funny adventure; enough to encourage him to do it again and again.

On the other hand, my beautiful daughter started elementary school. Yup, she is in Grade 1. Going to school isn’t new as she’s been going to school since she was 3 years of age; however, I was a nervous wreck this morning; so much so that I had to make couple of trips to the bathroom. Never mind butterflies in my tummy, I had birds and bats, dragonflies and mosquitoes and everything else that flies. I even had couple of chickens flapping their wings in there.

Jokes aside, I couldn’t have been prouder than watching my little girl begin her journey through elementary school. If I’m lucky, she’ll continue loving the public school system.

Finally, my sister has started her post-secondary adventures. Somehow, she ended up with the family brains while my brother was blessed with the athletic genes. I, on the other hand, simply ended up with the good looks J

Thanks for reading,

Armin

Ps. Half way through this entry, I had to put Isabella to bed. I had to explain to her what our schedule for tomorrow looks like. After a brief pause, she asked “why do adults enjoy making things hard. What’s wrong with simple plans?” Ain’t that the truth?

Bruised Ego & Bruised Ribs?

Today, I had my “dress rehearsal” for the upcoming Easter Seals’ Drop Zone event that will take place on September 13^th (yes, I’m fully aware that it’s on the 13^th). This session was intended to give the participants a chance to play around with the equipment that will be used on the day of the event. Of course, I was pumped about this because I wanted to make sure that everything goes as planned on the “drop” day. I got to the gym early and anxiously waited for my turn to learn and intently listened to the instructions. Piece of cake I said to myself… after all, I’ve been indoor rock climbing for few years now and that I know everything there’s to know about repelling.

So there I was on the ledge with my gloves and helmet on and ready for repelling. All was going perfectly. I spoke the lingo and managed to release the carabiner with one hand (I looked cool). Safety checks took place and I was hooked to my rope and ready for decent. I walked backwards like a duck (or drunken sailor as my instructor called it) and placed my weight on my harness. I then took a moment to pose for the camera. “Great picture” and “looking good” were the comments from my fellow thrill-seekers.

I straightened my legs at the edge and took the first step. I was certainly looking good until my right foot slipped, courtesy of my ill-fitted running shoe (well, I have to blame something). I dropped about 3 feet, swung to the right and bounced off the wall with my lowest right rib.

My ego was hurt so I yelled “I’m OK, I’m OK” and began to repel ever so gently until I reached the ground. Given my dismal performance the first time, I couldn’t wait to go for it again. So I did and I nailed it (or so I would like to tell people).

I guess that’s why they call it a “dress rehearsal”! This way I can screw-up couple of times and learn from my mistakes so on the event day I can have a flawless performance. I can’t wait for September 13^th to showcase my learning. I’ll make my instructor proud!

For now, I’m going to hold my head high while gently pressing an ice-bag on my ribs J

Thanks for reading,

Armin

Ps. the event will take place on September 13 at 999 West Hastings in Vancouver. Please stop by and cheer on the “daredevils”.

Pps. I'm still accepting donations. If you wish to contribute, please click here. Thank you!

Spare a $20?

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been leaving you voicemails, sending you emails, messaging you via LinkedIn and Facebook, and updating my Twitter status in an effort to ask for your generous donations. I would like to thank you if you have taken a moment to listen to your voicemails, or read the emails and messages, and if you were able to open your wallets and financially support my participation.

As you know, I’m preparing to participate in Easter Seals Drop Zone, where I’ll be rappelling down a high-rise building in downtown Vancouver. Why would I do that you ask? Well, here’s my story:

Karm and I have been blessed with two very healthy children (I say this as I touch wood, bite my tounge, and engage in other bizarre superstitious behaviours). Our daughter, Isabella had an opportunity to participate in Sparks’ weekend camping trip at Camp Elkgrove. For days that followed Isabella’s safe return home, all she could talk about was how much fun she had.

However, I’m also well aware that there are families that are blessed with beautiful children that battle challenges that prevent them from participating in activities such as camping. That’s where Easter Seals come into play.

Easter Seals “been able to provide inclusive and engaging opportunities for Canadians with disabilities through summer camps and active living programs, as well as specialized mobility and access equipment.

“Easter Seals is committed to enhancing the lives of people with disabilities. At their fully accessible camps, kids and youth learn about themselves and the potential of their abilities. The facilities are designed to ensure that everyone, no matter their disability, has the support they need to have the time of their lives, gain confidence and a sense of independence, challenge themselves and cultivate meaningful friendships.” (Source: The Drop Zone website)

Imagine giving children the opportunity to be “children” regardless of the challenges they have to face by providing the right tools and environment. Imagine every participating child having the ability to say “I can do it”, “I have done it”, and “I will do it again”. I don’t think any child should be denied having fun; life is too short for that.

Thanks for reading,

Armin

PS. If you want to financially support my descent on September 13, 2011, please click here. Thank you in advance.

The Man with Many Hats?



Courtesay of Google Image

Have you ever counted the number of “hats” you have to wear in one day (metaphorically speaking)? I’m going to exaggerate a bit here but this is my list:

• Husband
• Father (split to two: Father to a 5 year-old girl and newborn boy)
• Nice and courteous driver
• Employee (split to multiple: A worker, colleague, manager, relationship builder, service provider, “firefighter”, negotiator, etc.)
• Child
• Sibling (a brother and a sister)
• Neighbour
• Role model
• Sports fan
• Friend
• Etc.

Sounds familiar? It should because most of you wear these “hats” on regular basis without thinking twice about it. So is it surprising that some people may forget which hat they are wearing from time to time?

Fortunately, I’ve been very successful at keeping my professional life separate from my personal life… quiet simply, the two never mix.

However, I had a sobering wake up call on Friday when I was told by my 18 year-old sister that I should stop treating her like a colleague and more like a sibling. More surprisingly, this was confirmed by my wife.

Apparently, I’ve been trying to use business-like reasoning when trying to prove a point with family and friends. For instance, I’ve been quoted as saying, “there’s no problem if no solution can be put forward to tackle the issue at hand”. On its own and in a business setting, this point makes sense, however, trying to ask a teenager (albeit my sister) to come up with a solution during a family gathering may be a bit too much. Can you imagine the look of disappointment on my sister face when I asked her that question? Clearly, I did not imagine it before asking it.

Looking back at it, it’s kind of funny how I had totally missed on this point altogether (can’t and should not treat family like business partners), however, I’m sure it’s something that many of us have faced before (am I wrong on this assumption?).

I wish you success with whatever “hat” you’re wearing; I just hope you’re lucky enough to have someone to let you know that you’re wearing the wrong one.

Thank you for reading,

Armin

PS. I sent a message via BlackBerry Messenger to my sister and apologized to her and let her know I was truly very sorry for what happened.

Unconditional Trust

When was the last time you really trusted someone? I mean trusted them without any previous introduction! I mean you saw someone and you knew that you could, without any doubt, trust them with your life!

When was the last time you trusted someone unconditionally?

(To be honest with you, I don’t really know who came up with the phrase “Unconditional Trust”. I tried to conduct an online research to find the origin but wasn’t successful. Regardless, I thank the person that came up with it.)

For me, it was a little over 13 years ago and the result was the creation of amazing friendships, which resulted in me marrying the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met, and subsequently having two beautiful children (I’m knocking on wood, keeping my fingers crossed and praying to God as I type this… yup, I’m a little superstitious).

From Left to Right: Houman, Sashie, Me, Jitesh

Sometime in April 1998, two of my friends, Jitesh and Houman, and I were celebrating a personal milestone on

Robson Street

when we met couple of girls from Richmond, Wendy and Rav. We asked them to join in the celebration; after a brief hesitation they agreed.

From Left (Clockwise): Me, Tony, Wendy, Natalie, Chris, Rav, Isabella (our daughter), Karm (my lovely wife)

Less than couple of weeks later, in May 1998, I met the woman of my dreams, who happened to be a friend of my new “girl friends”; she was the most beautiful, astonishing and strong-headed individual I had (have) ever met.

14 months later, on July 10, 1999, I married her and never looked back.

Now imagine if Wendy and Rav did not accept our invitation that very first time we met? What if they would’ve just taken off instead of demonstrating an absolute and unconditional trust in three twenty-something guys that were “cruising” Robson Street? What if we wouldn’t have continued on with that newly formed friendship? What if my wife did not trust her friends’ judgment? What if my wife wouldn’t have accepted their invitation to join us at Second Beach on that warm May evening?

I don’t imagine my friends and I would be where we are today without demonstrating “unconditional trust” that very first time we met.

Brief diversion from the story:

So what is unconditional trust? In their academic article, The Experience & Evolution of Trust; Implications for Cooperation & Teamwork, Gareth R. Jones & Jennifer M. George define it this way: “Unconditional trust . . . characterizes an experience of trust that starts when individuals abandon the "pretense" of suspending belief, because shared values now structure the social situation and become the primary vehicle through which those individuals experience trust. With unconditional trust each party's trustworthiness is now assured, based on confidence in the other's values that is backed up by empirical evidence derived from repeated behavioral interactions—knowledge of which is contained in each individual's attitude toward the other . . . when unconditional trust is present, relationships become significant and often involve a sense of mutual identification . . .”

To personalize it, here’s how I would define Unconditional Trust: It’s when an individuals abandons his or her fears and prejudices, and wholeheartedly believes in the goodness of others.

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To my lovely wife, I’d like thank you for your

unconditional trust since May 1^, 1998. Thank you for putting up with me since then; I hope you’re looking forward to another 53 plus years of marriage.

To my dear friends and readers, thank you for reading and may your life be full of “unconditional trust”!  

Armin

PS. Wendy ended up marrying one of my best friends Tony (see 2nd group photo above)!

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