As a father of a 5 year old girl, I’m starting to feel more protective each day. Whether it is her “love” for Justin Bieber’s music videos or her on-and-off fascination with Disney “characters” such as Salina Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens or Zac Efron, I’m starting to see my beautiful “baby princess” growing up to be a “young princess” full of dreams, unconditional love, questions, ideas and ideologies, thoughtful responses and bravery.
I’m beginning to find myself challenged by my heart and brain regularly. I’m starting to feel outsmarted by my 5 year old. I’m no longer the only one she communicates with, learns from, depends on, plays with, shares laughter with, eats with, and most importantly loves; I’m now competing with the rest of the world for her attention.
She now has social circles (I know, it’s hard to believe that a 5 year old has a circle, never mind a social one J) at Kindergarten and Kinder Care. And she has another one as a Spark, Girl Guides of Canada, which my daughter will be away with on her first camping trip without her parents.
I was absolutely in favour of my daughter’s participation in the camping trip, however, the reaction from most family and friends has been one of shock and disbelief; many responded by “REALLY??? But she is only 5”.
So here’s my crossroad(s): As a father, when does one allow his daughter to grow up? Does one limit independence or does one encourage it; if so, at what age? Should the father always be there to “break the fall” or should he step back and let the fall to take place and then attend to it? Should the father limit his daughter’s exposure to all the beautiful things life has to offer or should he step back and let the child to see, smell, hear, feel, taste and love “it” on her own? And so on…
Although my head and heart are in a constant battle, they both sing harmoniously: “I would like to raise a baby, a daughter, a girl, a young woman, and an independent lady that is full of curiosity, love, passion, and care; a person that respects herself, family, friends and earth.”
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| Like Father, Like Daughter ~ always a Starbucks cup in hand! Love you honey :) |
Thank you for reading,
Armin
PS. I hope you’ll share your thoughts on this piece as I’m curious to know how other parents deal with these crossroads.
Oh Armin, I love this entry! you're so good because you're humble and because you recognize that life as a dad is a never ending journey of options and decisions to take or in other cases to allow!
ReplyDeleteI've always known and felt that I could count on my father and as I read this, I questioned myself why for as long as I can remember I have always felt this way! My immediate answer is TRUST, I knew since I was little that he knew a lot and that he liked to talk a lot, and that he had no problem in sharing his ideas, thoughts and feelings openly with me. He used to talk to me about "grown up topics" in the utmost direct way, sometimes it could have been wrongly interpreted as rude, but I knew he wasn't being rude, he was just being his open and honest self.
I could write on and on about my dad, I still have the opportunity at least once a week to talk to my dad about issues that his little oldest daughter at 32 years of age is facing, and I continue to feel the same support, love and encouragement I felt when I was 5, 10, 15, 19, and 25.
So my tip to you, if you'd like Isabella to feel how I feel as one of daddy's little girls in quite a few years, is to talk, talk and talk, talk until she says "dad, yes I understand" ten times, tell her that you love her and that you will be there NO MATTER WHAT!
Today you're pondering about a camping trip(I say do it, worse case scenario, she hates it and she calls home asking you to pick her up), in a few years, she'll want to party till midnight, and soon after, she'll want to go to Mexico with her friends, and TRUST between you and her is the ONE and ONLY thing that will enable both to make the right decisions at the right time!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts! With Love Priscilla -
PS. Kind of the same rule applies for Brayden with Mommy Karm, is just that funny bond between the opposite sexes between parents and their kids :)